Betrayal
by ChoCedric
Summary: Severus Snape surmised that his life was full of nothing but betrayal. All this time, he thought he'd been keeping Potter alive for Lily, but all along, the boy was being set up to die.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Betrayal

By: ChoCedric

As Severus Snape stormed out of the Headmaster's office and back to his dungeons, hatred pounded through his veins like hot, volcanic acid. Why was it that his life was filled with so much hurt and betrayal? Why was his life filled with commitments that he signed up for, only for the worst to happen?

He had been about ready to spit on the ground at Dumbledore's feet, but he had controlled himself. But the anger and rage swarmed through him as he stomped through the corridors. If anyone bumped into him tonight, he would give them such a tongue-lashing that it would result in floods of tears. He almost hoped he'd run into a wayward student, because he was looking for someone to take his rage out on.

Albus Dumbledore had betrayed him. After years and years of committing himself, spying and lying and being in danger of getting killed, he had found out that the boy, Lily's boy, was to die. He had been under the impression that he was keeping him safe for her, but the old fool had a master plan up his sleeve, and was training the boy to be a pig for slaughter.

Sickness roiled through him as well as the rage. All this time, Severus had thought he was paying his debt to Lily, trying to correct all the wrongs he had done which had resulted in the loss of first her friendship, then her life. He'd paid with blood and sweat and tears, and it was all for nothing. The boy was going to die by the hands of the Dark Lord.

God, he should have known. Should have known that Dumbledore could be just as cruel and callous as the Dark Lord, not caring who he hurt in order to achieve his goals. When he'd gone running to him for help, the only thing on his mind had been Lily, Lily's safety, Lily's life. He remembered Dumbledore's harsh words, "You disgust me," when he had not mentioned Lily's family in the bargain. What a hypocrite, he thought with disgust of his own sweeping over him. The old man had no right to be disgusted when he himself was planning for the boy to get killed.

But oh, the boy. Severus had hated him at first sight, and still did. From that first day in his classroom, Potter had been just like his father: arrogant, full of cheek, and admired for stupid, shallow reasons. It had not been him who defeated the Dark Lord, it was Lily and her love. The boy, lying helpless in his crib, had had nothing to do with it whatsoever!

As the years went by, the boy only became worse and worse in his eyes. He'd broken a million school rules to save the blasted Philosopher's Stone, investigated the Chamber of Secrets incident when he should have left it up to the adults to save the day, and gambled with his parents' sacrifice all for a bag of sweets! Never had Severus been angrier with the little whelp than in that moment. He had known very well that the mongrel Lupin had been covering for him. God, why did the fool bring that monster back into the school? It seemed as though Dumbledore loved finding unique ways to hurt Severus, to bring back all the painful memories of the past.

And last year, the boy hadn't paid a lick of attention in Occlumency, lying through his teeth about practicing and not doing a single thing Severus told him to. The brat wanted to play hero, wanted to know what the Dark Lord was doing just so he could get recognition at the end of the day. And his pet dog had died for it! And the boy saw fit to blame him, Severus, for Black's death! Gryffindors take no responsibility for their actions, he thought disgustedly. They always blame everything on the Slytherins.

And this year, he hadn't changed at all, strutting around the campus like his father used to, casting spells on unsuspecting students and the Squib caretaker to boot! And he knew very well that Potter was using his old Potions book, because there was absolutely no way he was achieving those Potion results Slughorn kept marveling about all on his own. He couldn't wait to catch him in the act, and then take so many points from Gryffindor that it blew the boy's mind!

So it had galled him to no end when Dumbledore had asked calmly, "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?" No, of course he didn't care for him! He could care less what happened to the little devil. HE was only keeping him alive because of Lily, Lily's love for him. Merlin, he felt so envious! All Harry had done for Lily was sleep, eat, cry, and breathe, and Lily had loved him. But she'd never loved Severus. How could she love that child when he had done nothing to warrant it?

And Dumbledore's infuriating "After all this time?" rang in his ears as well, making the anger pound even stronger through his veins. So Dumbledore thought he would waver, he would stop loving Lily? Did he think that after seeing her pale, lifeless body in Godric's Hollow, the memory of her would have ever left him? Every time he pictured her now, it was always her blank, sightless emerald eyes that entered his mind, the eyes that used to captivate his very soul. Dumbledore, who always kept prattling on about the importance of love, didn't seem to understand it at all in the end!

So as Severus entered his quarters and got into his nightclothes, he surmised that his life was full of nothing but betrayal, and he was counting the days until it ended. For the first time since that awful Halloween night, he lay on his pillow and cried himself to sleep. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so, so sorry. I failed you," he sobbed as her eyes entered his mind again. "I love you, Lily. So much. I'm so sorry."


End file.
